This is basically the easiest, cheapest, expensive-looking recipe known to man. It requires almost no prep, and you only need one pot. I grew up on a version of this, and while my mother is a terrific cook, even she needed a break from the complicated, all-organic, gourmet fare she regularly fed our family of five. So on nights when she wanted to read the new Vogue, or it was too hot to light the oven, she’d whip this up. This recipe can be embellished quite easily, so if you’re entertaining on a budget you can dress it up for under $10 and your friends will never know.
Start by boiling some spaghetti. Personally, I just like thin spaghetti for everything, but if all you have is linguine go for it. If I hear that you’ve substituted egg noodles I will be very disappointed. Italians do not eat egg noodles, unless they’re trying to be polite to an American friend who wanted to “cook Italian” for them, and even then they’ll talk shit about it the whole way home. If you want to be respectable use a pasta that’s an eighth of an inch thick or less. You want to cook your pasta until it’s al dente. If you weren’t sure what this expression means that could be because it’s a personal preference. Basically, you want to cook the pasta til it’s just a little harder than you’d like to eat it. I like to keep my spaghetti whole, if you eat your pasta with a fork and spoon you might prefer to break it in half. My philosophy is: if it was meant to be shorter they’d make it shorter. My mother likes to break her pasta in half so it fits better into a small saucepan, she and my father used to argue rather violently over this point of contention, and once my father threw a whole plate at the wall in frustration. Luckily, she had made this recipe and it didn’t stain the wallpaper. Ahh, memories…
While your spaghetti boils chop up a slice of bacon. In my opinion (wait this is my blog, everything is in my opinion remember?) bacon makes everything taste better and with a sauce made predominantly of water this gives it some much needed richness. If you’re on a budget and don’t happen to have bacon left over from that awesome deep-fried man n’ cheese you made last week you can omit this and throw on a couple of pads of butter instead.
The rest of the ingredients are essential: you’ll need a can of clams. You won’t have to go far, canned clams are sold at most grocery stores. I picked up the can in the photo from the C-Town in Williamsburg for $1.99. You’ll also need a clove or two of minced garlic, lemon juice (fresh or bottled), clam juice (yes, this exists and can be found by the canned clams or in the juice aisle) and white wine. To season I like to use Vietnamese Chili Garlic Sauce, made by Fong Foods. I like to use this for lots of things; it’s very spicy, flavorful, inexpensive (an 8oz jar is about $2.99 and lasts forever), and fairly easy to find (most grocery stores in the city sell it). If you can’t find the chili garli sauce substitute red pepper and add more garlic.
Drain your al dente pasta and put it aside. DO NOT RINSE IT. I don’t really understand why anyone rinses pasta, there’s not enough starch in regular pasta to warrant this. The only time I’ve ever bothered to rinse pasta is when I thought I had celiac disease and briefly switched from semolina pasta to rice. That shit needs to be rinsed because it releases a ridiculous amount of starch into the water and turns it practically to glue. Regular pasta does not need to be rinsed. Rinsing just washes all the salt away. According to my 11th grade Honors Chemistry Teacher Ms. Kaplan (I think that was her name) adding salt changes the molecular composition of water so it boils at a higher than normal temperature, so the water is hot enough to cook pasta in but won’t boil over. If you ask my Italian mother or grandmother they’ll say that if you don’t add salt the pasta will be flavorless no matter how much parmesan you sprinkle on top. They’re both right. Throw in the salt right after you add the pasta, don’t salt cold water or it will take forever to boil and still boil over.
While the pasta drains put a little olive oil in the bottom of the empty pot (about 1-2 tablespoons), add garlic and bacon and let them cook til the garlic is translucent but not burnt. Add clams. You want to use all the liquids in the can. When I was a kid my mom was often stingy and with the liquids and we’d all end up with dry pasta. This dish should be wet, but not soupy. Add the chili garlic sauce and mix well. The chili sauce is more like a paste than a sauce, so you’ll need to break it up. When your base is all combined add the pasta back in and toss. Add the bottled clam juice (about half the 8oz bottle), along with a tablespoon or so of lemon juice and wine. You can play around with these three liquids. I don’t like a lot of lemon in this recipe so I use it sparingly. Toss the whole mess together and let it cook up for about a minute or two. The longer it’s on the stove the less liquids you’ll have. If you want you can toss in some finely chopped parsley, it makes the dish more colorful and adds a nice fresh flavor.
The whole meal (which serves 2 on a half pound of pasta) should cost no more than $5.00. If you’re entertaining and want to make this fancy you can purchase clams in the shell, or shrimp. Serve with a chilled white wine, sprinkle red pepper to taste. I would not recommend putting parmesan cheese on this dish. The canned clams are pretty salty on their own and parmesan tends to soak up the juice and leave the whole thing sticky, plus the sharp salty cheese over powers the light fish flavors. Use a little sea salt instead.
This is a great summer recipe since it requires little prep, cooking and cleanup. All your friends will be impressed if you dress it up because it looks and tastes expensive, but we both know it’s super-quick, cheap and easy. So next time you’re having friends over and you want to impress them, or it’s too hot in your apartment to cook for more than 10 minutes before you absolutely have to break out the wine give this a try.
